Weekly Wisdom #254 - Leopards Changing Spots

You and me both Dean! I hate confrontations and tend to shy away from them. Thanks for giving me a different thought process. I'm not doing myself any favors by not confronting whatever it is I need to deal with.

Have a great week!

I have decided to change my thoughts on the things I dislike to things I like.

THINGS I WAS SCARED OF AND I HAVE IMPROVED UPON SINCE JOINING DEAN PROGRAM BACK IN JUNE 16th 2013:
-Buiding a huge buyers list
-Settting up my buyers, sellers, and birdog website
-Ordered my business cards
-Cut off negative people from my life (incluing my gf lol)
-Put out bandit signs
-Putting ghost ads on CL
-Setting a goal
-Learnt how to screen my cash buyers with the 3 rules (non-refundable deposit, no inspection period after contracts are signed, non assignable)
--Following up with my cash buyers once a week.

THINGS I WAS SCARED OF AND I AM EXCITED TO IMPROVE UPON:-
-Placing offers
-Contacting Seller off CL to place offers on their properties
-Contacting agents to place offers
-Joining REI Clubs
-Managing my time wisely
-Following up with sellers
-Requesting agents to pull up "cash sold" in my area
_______________________________________
TC Igwilo
Miami, FL

My buyers website- www.igwiloproperties.com
Sellers website- www.selltoigwilo.com
Birddog website- www.igwilohousefinder.com

My Journal (my journey to financial freedom) http://www.deangraziosi.com/real-estate-forums/investing-journals/144538...

Not making offers, means making no money
Not calling realtors, means no offers,
Not calling buyers, means no wholesale deals
Not talking at your REI Club, means no network
Not speaking your mind, means accepting what someone else decides.

Not launching into a million dollar project - because doubt tries to edge its way into my head - would mean missing the opportunity of a lifetime. After the transformation of the last 4 years - fear hasn't got a chance. I'm not going to live in regret of what could have been had I just taken the courage. Here I go - Mega Chapter on the horizon.

Thanks Dean-
This is exactly how I've been feeling. And it just really hit me this morning that fear has gotten me absolutely NOWHERE in the last couple of years. Time to try something new like, hello, taking action!!
Thanks for reading my mind again and giving me another kick in the butt! Oh, and a new laptop would be nice too!!
Thanks again
Jim and Paula

This is a weekly wisdom that I will need to replay several times. Can people change? Absolutely and positively yes. Is it easy? Not always. The thing I am working on is who I will become and what I must do. I know I must develop some new mindsets and I have to have some trust and allow people to come into my life. It is necessary to interact with people in order to be a successful REI & business woman.

Transformation - makeover - new and improved person I will become. It is a pretty tall order for someone like me wondering if I can really DO IT. I look at other successful people and they all have someone at their side. I think that is wonderful and then for me I think maybe someday if I live that long.

I think we can only coast or hover for so long and then things change whether we like it or not and that means we have to change to. Slipping and sliding downward for me would mean losing everything and starting over. Right now I am just trying to get my financial balance so I can move forward and get some deals. It does take some money to do REI and bandit signs are only cheap if you have money to buy them. It costs money for gas and fried chicken Sunday while driving for $'s. When I can stop rationing gas that will help. I need a new cell smart phone and a macbook to work with. My pc is getting slower by the minute and it is old. I will work with what I have and see where I get to. There is an awful lot to think about. Not moving forward would mean I am just existing. That is not good. I do want to be of value to others and make my contribution. On one hand I don't think that being deeply rooted is bad but on the other hand my deeply rooted issue is killing me and costing me plenty personally.

I have an attitude of gratitude and appreciate you Dean. Thank you for this weekly wisdom. God Bless you.

for another Weekly!

can people change? I believe that where there is a will, anything is possible. If we want it bad enough, we can accomplish anything we set our minds and bodies to do!

I want to succeed in rei so badly, it hurts! Just the idea of going back to where I was 3 years ago before joining this amazing DG family, makes me overcome any obstacle that gets in my way! I am still changing and learning every day, and I don't think that I will ever stop. Every change that I've made has had incredible rewards for me and my family!
But if I have to think of a specific change that I need to make, I would say that opposite to being afraid of confrontation, I tend to jump on things too quickly without taking the time to think about different solutions to an issue, and then later realize that I was too quick in judging something or somebody. I need to learn to take a few breadths of air, and take some time to think, before I respond to an issue.

I would love to win your Apple laptop!
Valerie

It seems that not too long before you post a topic on the WW, that I have started that process already. Kinda makes me feel like you are watching me Dean

As I said before, before I joined DG, I was on a path to becoming a hermit/recluse. A Howard Hughes only without the money. I was a successful, energetic, popular guy from my late teens to early 30s. I was even considered by many to be an expert in my field. But it all became too much and I retreated. It effected all aspects of my life.
Now divorced, I lived alone, out in the sticks, no family or friends to be with unless I was willing to do all the work, celebrating nothing ( i.e. my birthday, religion, holidays, etc.), pretty much sheltered from the pain of life as well as the joys of life. I had reached a point where I was annoyed or disturbed by almost everyone I had to deal with so I dealt with less and less people. By the time I was done, I was down to speaking to only about 5 people in a months time and most of them were at the grocery store. ( You always want to be nice to the people who handle your food )

While I enjoyed the time alone after coming out of a bad marriage, it also gave me the time to step back and analyze my future. I knew I had the talent for doing RE but I wasn't sure I had the stamina to deal with all that you need to deal with when it comes to RE. Not to be too clicheish, but one night, while I was still working into the wee hours of the night, I saw this hyper little Italian dude on the tube and he was saying that "I could do this!!!!" So I joined DG.com. I could say the rest is history but few here know the rest. You see, my biggest fear was coming back into society. Having to deal with people, any people, was a major turnoff to me for doing this or anything else. However, I realized that if I was to turn this ship around, I had to come back to the world. Was I scared? You bet!!!! I didn't have a clue what was on the other side. Did I do it anyway? You bet!!!! and I'm ever so thankful I did. You can see, back in my old journal, the shock I expressed that people here, strangers I've never met, even cared enough to wish me a happy birthday when I first exposed when it was. I wasn't used to that as I hadn't acknowledged the day myself in over 20 years. To me it was just another day. NOT anymore!!! Now I celebrate my existence again. By being a part of the DG family, I've been given the tools to better guide my life. Once I sat down and really looked at my life the Dean Graziosi way, I saw that I had a lot to be grateful for in my present life and up until my "Hermitism", I had lived a pretty good life. I'm not Totally Fulfilled but I'm way closer to it than far from it. ( I'm finally reading the book and now I can't put it down.)
So if this takes me out of the running for your laptop, so be it but I'M NOT SCARED TO DO ANYTHING!!!! I already did the scariest thing I could think of, I returned to the world and I survived. Yes, I need to do more than I'm doing if I want to be more successful with RE but it's not because I'm scared to do it. For me, it's just what's required in order to get the reward. Fear is not part of the equation.
Look at me now, I post on this site.( Heck, I think I've shared more private things here than anywhere else!) At the MMI, I stood up on a stage again in front of close to 500 people and shared my story. I help when I can with the knowledge and experience I have. I'm always on the IE chat at night to help. I was at the EDGE and shook your hand!!! I've been on 2 DWs on IE and have met so many wonderful people that are part of this great family. Not bad for a hermit wouldn't you say?

Sorry for the long post, I just felt I needed to share What was the topic again? Oh yeah, what are we scared of that we need to make into a positive.
I'm scared I'm going to be banned from posting here because I type too much. I WILL TRY to write shorter posts

Gratefully yours,
Andy Sager
DG's AndyS
CFIC & IE Member

MICRO MANAGING: Yes Dean, I am guilty of this. The reason that I do this is because I am so used to doing everything myself and I believe there could be a trust issue. Every time I micro manage it costs me time, money and energy , If I look at the time and money it costs me / how I could be more productive putting in offers I would change my MINDSET!!

When I catch my self micro managing, I will step back and mentally picture the dollars lost from things that I am not doing as a result of micro managing.
TIME / LIFE ARE SOOO VALUABLE, MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT BY PUTTING YOUR FOCUS IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!!
Thanks again Dean for another great weekly wisdom / have an awesome week!! Deb

Thanks for the weekly wisdom. Its so true that we can all change in an instant once we decide to do it. By simply changing what we link pain and pleasure to we can "Awaken the Giant within" and take control of of our lives creating our own path.

For me I have always been afraid to fail. I hate not being the best at something and having success. The last year and half since joining your program I have started to embrace failure and get past it quickly to keep moving forward with REI. However, this is still a constant battle within myself on a daily basis. I will start linking pleasure with failure and overcome this limited belief that I must be great before I even get started.

Thank you for all the motivation as you continue to inspire me to be a better person for my family, friends, and myself.

Make it a great week!
Thom

I have been putting out bandit signs in my city for over 2 years now, I have been meaning to start putting signs in surrounding towns in my area but I don't know what has been holding me back. I guess when I told someone that I was thinking about putting my signs in this certain town they told me not to do because the town is small and the people would pull my signs quick. Maybe that held me back. Or maybe I have been to lazy to drive farther to put out signs in different areas and keep making excuses. Well I'm making a change this coming weekend, I'm going to make sure I put out my signs in different areas, If I have to hire an intern who lives in these areas or even if I have to do it myself. This is something I'm committed to changing Dean.

Yes Dean this can happen! I know I can change, but still something holds me back. I guess that would be: fear. I have fear of being "behind in the game" I am not as: "social media" savvy as I would like to be. I just don't get twitter and as for: Linked in, well I am not good with this either. I recently got my own cell phone. Before this I used my H's when I needed to, otherwise I stuck with a land line! Now I am on a steep learning curve, as I have a hybrid phone. It is also great, and I can take photos with it too. I am improving, but not there yet. I have some embarrassment around this, as I feel I should be much more adept than I am. So this is one of my fears: I am behind the times, and I will never be able to catch up to all the others! There~! Now I have said it, it is out there, flying around and anyone can read it, and then they will know the truth about me~! Oh yes, I can admit this and so far I have not evaporated~! See it is empowering, I feel better than I did five minutes ago~ Maybe this Leopard just changed a few!!

I tend to get lazy and come up with excuses when is Friday night and is time to put out bandit signs. I know is fear and is my little voice between my ears that has been stopping me but I'm deeply committed to change and be accountable!

For the longest
time I have always had a fear of not being able to be my own boss. And just like you I am also standing up to my fears, I'm going to your seminar in Temecula, CA on the 18th at 11:30.
I want to be my own boss like you are, I want to be successful just like you, I mostly want to have the chance to let my kids see me be a successful person so they can strive for greatness like I have.
thank you for the opportunity.
Jose C Gutierrez

I'm confronting my fear of failure of letting myself down. I have a habit of letting others push away my dreams and I am working on that. Its grate to know you care enough about us to share this

Delynn Smtith

I just became an insider elite member. Dean I am ready to do. I identify with many of your successful students I have four children bad credit and people telling me I cannot do it. I say to them I am grateful for many things one being able to see my own ability and not conform to what they feel my ability is.

I haven't heard any one win anything by far
but i do love the weekly wisdom vids it helps me in my every day life

Dean, I don't fear Sellers, Buyers, Agents, other investors, or much of anything else out there in the RE world. I only fear failing my family by making a bad decision in the REI world that would cost us our livelihood. I decided to protect/prepare myself through education by getting a Real Estate license (I have two more classes before taking the state/national test). My belief is that by getting in that world, I will have a better command of the information, better access to the MLS, and the ability to list properties that I can't buy creatively.

Hi Dean,
My biggest fear is not coming across as knowledgeable or professional as I would like. I am a home chef, mom and wife. We reside in the South Bronx, NYC. My husband is a UA journeyman plumber. Cost of living is so high in NYC that we literally live paycheck to paycheck. My husband has always worked so hard to provide the best for us and I recently promised him that I will retire him by the time hes 45.
I thought I was going to accomplish this feat through network marketing; I was wrong... If I am going to retire my husband in due time, I have to convince myself that I can be that professional and knowledgeable person that makes things happen. My main goal in this stage of my life is to get my kids out of the s.bronx, and ensure that on his 45th bday, my husband can put in for his retirement with no worries about our future. He has taken excellent care of me for the past 16 years and now its time for me to step up and take control of my family's future. Dean, thank you so much for your knowledge that you share so openly. I look forward to get the ball rolling with everything ive learned so far and what I will continue to learn. This is my last shot at a different life AND I HAVE TO GRAB THE BULL BY THE HORNS, NOW!

Sincerely,
Jesenia Perozo

Thanks so much for your continuedb Weekly Wisdoms, and this week's especially. It hit close to home, as I, too, am extremely non-confrontational, and it prevents me from making phone calls I need to be making. I'm going to shift my thinking as you suggest and build my Power Team and Cash Buyers list, and gets some deals done NOW!
You're awesome, Dean. Thanks for being so genuine and always sharing your heartfelt thoughts with us.
Lisa

Dean,
We just joined the site and are working to implement many changes in our mindset that will get us where we want to be. Deciding to make a change is scary but also empowering when framed around a new perspective. We're shifting our mind sets and our actions and couldn't be more excited for what's to come!!
-- Chris and Rachael Coulson

Hi Dean,
I'm just having trouble putting a team together. I've bought properties but usually do the work also and it's frustrating me when i know that I should be looking for more deals instead of working on them. I'm just finishing up on one now and I'm tired of feeling this way and I'm going to work your 30 day book like it should be.
Thanks for the inspiration and everything you do for us.
Keith

I was burned about 2 yrs ago in a JV/partnership deal. Not only lost my money (over $117k) but 3 clients lost a combined $40k. Since then I have turned down multiple opportunities to partner with someone. I really believe I have lost more by having tunnel vision than I did in that one bad partnership.

So today I am working on a plan to seize the opportunities as they come along and to help others at the same time. Take that negative experience and write down the lessons learned and never repeat the mistakes I made again.

K. Michael Fishbaugh

Thank you so much for this weekly wisdom, Dean. You have shed new light for me about addressing my fears. I've had a lot of calls from sellers & cash investors, but never called them back because I was terrified about saying the wrong thing. I wonder how much money I missed out on? This morning I called 2 investors that told me exactly what they're wanting & told me they would buy anything I could bring them within their criteria. I checked them out using public records & they are active buyers in my area. WOW this feels great. I'm so blessed to have this site to go to when I'm having self-doubt or just need some daily motivation.
Thank you again & God Bless.

I think it is more a fear of the unknown not the failure. But one leads to the other. Something new is a lot lots of unknown. Each one seems larger than the one you just finished doing for the first or second time. So I am just writing a todo list with everything I need to do. including the incidentals. That way I will Not just forget (aka avoid) doing them. Each small success is becoming easier.

Thanks for letting us know That we all have to work at it.

...thanks so much for your continuous generosity...appreciated beyond words.

G. Hightower

I have a tremendous fear of failing, which prevents me from moving forward. I know that I shouldn't be afraid of failing, but I am. I hate to even admit it, but here I go anyway. This dibilitating fear makes me my own worst enemy!
I desperately want to overcome this fear and do what I know I can. Thank you for always striving to connect with us and motivate us to act. It's that first step, that's always the hardest isn't it?

Doug Ihly

Thanks Dean: Excellent Blog>This has made my day,early in the a,m. hours;I have been guilty of not taking action,=NO MONEY.Things I do daily,Check backpage:CL. I always have pen,paper,ride areas of town,I always look for buyers,look,find distresed,houses,Fear of not knowing how to fill out contracts,correctly,or making an offer.I think the word money had lots to do with it,try to buy investmet hm,I was told you need 20% down,REI Clubs need money,sometimes running short of cash,I let fear stand in way.After today I will take action,I have listened to all,I think wholesaing is best way too start,build cash.I would love to win your mac book air,I appreciate all education in which you share with all. The best, need too throw out fear,take action go forward,correct any mistakes and learn from them. Thanks Carol in Texas

Absolutely, that's me. I will go to great lengths to avoid it. Even spelling the word out in the subject title....ohhhh. LOL
When we get out of our comfort zone the magic happens, so I try and do the opposite of what I want to do when it comes to confrontation.
Lisa

Thanks Dean for more of that great weekly wisdom.
The thing I am a frayed off is the getting burned by contractors not getting their job done on time. Do you confront them and worry about them doing more damage to the property.

It is kind of funny or crazy that in the military and law enforcement I can handle confrontation all day long when in uniform. But in my personal life I do not like confrontation.

Thanks Dean

Steve and Veronica

For the last few years I had a problem with doubting myself and thinking that I didn't have what takes to make a change. To change this limiting belief I surrounded myself with people with a positive attitude and also started reading motivational books about others that had to overcome self doubt to be able to accomplish their own dreams. Thanks Dean. James

Thanks Dean for the great post. It is important to remember that we all have our own fears, even the best of us. As you said, the only way to keep moving forward is to face them head on.

Yes, confrontation is a big one for me and facing conflict is one that I avoid. At least I did in the past. I started last night by having a conversation with someone on a very difficult issue. What I found to my amazement was that it went very well and we were actually able to make great progress. The dread of the conversation was much worse than the actual conversation! It is funny what our mind can do to blow things out of proportion in order to keep us in our comfort zone.

Here's to constantly moving forward or as I like to say: Even if you are stumbling, if you are stumbling forward you are making progress - stumble forward!