OfflineWell, I've finally hit rock bottom and almost with a nervous breakdown to boot. Here's what's been happening in my life since my last journal post;
Was at the peak of my game and about to close on a very nice Victorian when my so-called partner decided to bail out on me and pulled out his half of the EMD several days prior to closing. Can't see how $500.00 was more important than the $40,000 he would've walked away with once we had closed,(but, oh well). Kind of lost focus for a while with investing and then jumped back into it, but with a lot less zest and more of an hum drum attitude towards things. Was pretty much just kind of fed up with how things were going in my life, especially the constant bickering and negativity that my wife was continuously spewing out at me every waking moment of the day, about my REI. Arguing was a sun up to sun down hobby of hers and I was becoming more and more stressed by the day. Well it soon got to the point where I didnt even get out of bed on most days and just started to let everything go and that even included very important bills such as electric, car payments, phone bill as well as food. I wanted to run my wife out of my life by making her just as miserable as she was making me. Finally let my car get repoed in January, electric turned off in June(for 1 day though...too hot), cupboards ran bare, except for my canned veggies because I'm a vegetarian anyways), then unemployment dried up completely because I deliberately refused work when it was available to me. lastly rent came due and it wasnt paid either, so then she started trying to trash my place and make a scene for the neighbors, sooooo I called the cops, she packed her bags and called her mother and brothers to help move her and so now we're separated and I've moved and left all of that negativity behind and now will make a fresh start with things.
Well, that's my Negative life for these past 9 months.
Bryant Slade
Dear Bryant ~
You might soon be recited lots of clever quotes and cliches here on this 'happy' website (like "Now that you've hit ROCK BOTTOM there's no place to go but up" ...) but it sounds like you can benefit from some other insight on little steps you can take to begin lifting yourself out of depression.
In spite of all you said above, I do perceive that you still feel hope (because otherwise, you wouldn't be here again -- on dg.com -- trying to reconnect.) Let me be the first to say: "Welcome Back!"
As you know, you can use this website as a resource to start reclaiming your life. Here are 5 (hopefully easy) things to possibly include as you move forward:
1) Even if you don't feel like it, make the effort to get at least 15 minutes of FRESH AIR (like the kind that comes from outdoors ... LOL) every single day. Don't multi-task while doing it. Just breathe very deeply while standing or sitting outside. I think you will be pleasantly surprised how this new routine contributes to your wellness. Aside from being a 'calming' time for you -- this literally draws more oxygen into the brain (not if you use the time to smoke a cigarette, obviously) and should make you able to think more clearly about what new directions you want to go in. It's always necessary to make good decisions during bad times.
2) Drink lots of water. This goes along with the idea of helping you to "physically" feel better --- as you aim to feel better mentally. Water helps to flush out our toxins. It doesn't have to be bottled water. If you need flavor, opt for green tea. (No, not scotch with a "splash" of water.)
3) Don't share "all" of the negative developments with people who are in your REAL life (as opposed to your virtual life) because it's essential to surround yourself with positive energy now. Sometimes, people will hear "everything" that is going on ... and they automatically COUNT YOU OUT as a reflex. Consider only sharing bits and pieces (enough to let off a little steam) and be more private about the rest. It can be dangerous when others give up on you, because sometimes it is convincing. Don't risk it. You can always share more details with them in hindsight, when you are doing great!
4) Visit this particular site often to feed on its inspiration. You already know in your heart that you can succeed at real estate investing, and got close (but no cigar) to proving it. Money --- which is rumored not to buy happiness --- will give you lots of options to fix many uncomfortable circumstances. Make money.
5) If you are a praying person, pray. If you are not, consider it. Life is full of situations that conspire against us, and that avalanche out of control. It's nice to recognize that there is a Higher Power than us.
Meanwhile, also know that ordinary people (like the ones here) care. We do.
We're pulling for you.
~ Sherri
Welcome Back!
Sorry to read about your tough times, delighted to see that you are back and posting again.
Is this going to be your journal now?
Angela
Getting rid of the negative baggage is the best thing that happened to you. She was keeping you from being successful and was jealous. She dragged you into her world and that was her success. God was giving you the guidance and Satan was interfering. Continue to follow God's guidance. You will have your peaks and valleys but continue to listen to Him.
Glad to see you back in the game.
Hi Bryant,
I am fairly new here, I read what you posted and just had to say...YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS!
Last year I hit rock bottom, I couldn't afford my house payments anymore because of health reasons. I had to sell my house to an investor before it went into foreclosure. I felt like I worked so hard for it, it was also home to my nephews that I was raising. It was the hardest thing I ever went through but I survived and you will too! I take one day at a time...I have good days and when I over do it...using my hands too much, I have bad days...but more good than bad! The nerve damage that I have, stress also makes my pain worse so I try not to stress.
Take it day by day, there are so many nice people here...you are at the right place. I feel blessed, my nephew ordered Deans books for me. I just know...I feel it in my heart that I will be successful in rei and if you feel it too, you will make it!
It's hard when you have someone around crushing your dream! My boyfriend was negative when I started studying three years ago but he also sees I am not giving up!
I truly believe everything happens for a reason, if it wasn't for my pain, I would still be cleaning houses and not even studying rei.
Take care...remember one day at a time!
Dawn
"Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements." Napoleon Hill
Dawn H
You are starting over again and to get up and restart from where you've been is a brave thing to do. This is where I come for my positive reinforcement, keep coming back! You will ENJOY this video! Sometimes situations in our life are the very thing we need to push us to success!
Watch this video with a great message that we all can take to heart! http://www.ted.com/talks/steve_jobs_how_to_live_before_you_die.html
It is CERTAIN you WILL SUCCEED! Say it every morning, every afternoon and EVERY night!
The advice we all gave him would help you as well.. No body can take your dreams away. Life is holographic, meaning look how you dealt with that situation and make sure the next time you respond to the negativity in a proactive way. Your x was fearful and it sounds toxic. Always remember we allow people to treat us certain ways. Its all about boundaries. Read what I wrote to Olu about thoughts becoming your destiny.
Charisse
Believe me when I tell you this... I've felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders and am about as anxious as when I first got into REI a year ago. Butterflies in my tummy(lol) and all that kind of stuff. Yes, I'll make my journal posting a priority this time around and now that I Do have the knowledge and resources from past learning experiences and this, as well as other sites it's going to be a breeze to get back up and running. Just have to get all of my Buyers/sellers paperwork back organized again.
BTW, already read OLU's posting the other night.
Thanks again everyone and it's Great to be back!
Bryant Slade
I'll asume you may be cursing your wife or you have others doing the same and i'm not saying you may not feel the same, but take your experience as simply you married the wrong woman. There must have been good times so cherish those times and respect her for those times. In other words, blasting her or allowing to others to do so does no good and is actually more a disrespect towards you than it is her. Take it simply as 'it wasn't meant to be'.
For your recovery, take your time; don't go buckwild or try and handle more than you think you can handle, such as putting in 350 offers in a week, placing 2345 bandit signs, canvassing 15 hours straight, and sleeping w Dean's books under your pillow(ba-doomp doomp)
Also, be careful in the emotional state you're in. You're going to meet many women out there, who upon hearing you in your weakened emotional state might want to take advantage of you and,.......actually that might be an integral part of your recovery
Get stronger and do your thing
Welcome back Max.
I too am sorry to hear about the things you went through.
Sounds like you and your EX just really werent meant to be. It happens, So now start anew and make yourself the success you knew you were destined to be. Take a deep breath and start life over, Dean once said somtimes you have to break something in order to be succesful. I admire your courage to start everything over and wish you the best. take it one day at a time and always look at the positive side of things. Your healthy and in my mind thats the most important thing, everything else can be earned through hard work.
You can have anything you want in life, as long as your willing to work for it.
best of luck
Richie
Just relieved to be out of that situation. One thing I won't do is dwell on my not so distant past, I am back to doing those things which I once enjoyed before all of that messy stuff(guitar playing, rc plane flying, painting with my youngest daughter, snorkeling, laying in the hammock and just listening to nature and staring up at the heavens). Those are just a few, at night we take out the reflectorscopes and star gaze.
Again thanx.......you too Richie
Bryant Slade
What a bummer! Sometimes; no most of the time, these type things are truly blessings in disguise! I am very sorry to hear all of the struggles you have been thru! I'll just betcha that you are very very close to THE BREAKTHROUGH! If you have not read the journal by Randy. I don't even know his last name but his journey to success was quite a ride. BUT he kept at it and now.... he is well on his way!
The journal is, of course, in the members journal section and it has something about 2nd runner up to Dean's send me away contest in the title. Great story if anyone hasn't read it, I am so impressed wirh his ability to keep going when it obviously seemed as if EVERYTHING was against him.
Anyway, glad you are "back in the game" and I wish you the best!
Successful people experience much more failure than Failures do; winners don't let negative defeat them! (i love that comment
AND the one about obstacles being opportunities to learn rather than signs that we are destined for mediocrity!
The only way to predict the future? CREATE IT!
Dream It~Build It~Live It
Success is predictable!
Don't ever say 'tummy' again lol
Hope things are better for you
When you are learning to swim you have to gulp some water. Gulping water doesn't mean that you are drowning, but the experience teaches you what not to do. Stay motivated and stick with it and you will learn to swim. The same thing in the business world, these steps are teaching us what to do and what not to do. At lease that is what I am telling myself, heck that is what I always tell myself. Welcome back man, it will work for you... Just keep trying...
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, and Today is a gift...
Ethel Griffin
...So don't throw away a gift, do it today as tomorrow is not promised.