Facing Fears, a few little things that have helped me

As silly as it may seem, fear can really cripple a person when stepping into something new. I know that a lot of people have put VERY helpful and encouraging posts in the forums of how they overcame their fear. Indiana Joe's new thread made me decide to add a few things that have helped me (I had written this up a few months ago).

Honestly, fear was my only TRUE challenge in stepping into REI. I felt I was smart enough to make the techniques work once I learned them. But the “obstacles in my head” ended up more limiting than anything else (even though I consider myself a pretty strong person). I imagine there are a lot of people that feel the same way. (some of these, I'm sure, are very similar to what others have said. )

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FACING FEARS: (real or in your head)

To face fears I believe you NEED 2 types of people in your life:
1. Those who will believe in you no matter what you do and give you encouragement, no matter what their knowledge of the subject.
2. Those who are positive people, knowledgeable in the field, who will the see the positive but ask good questions and give good counsel to help you think things out.
FIND AT LEAST ONE OF EACH that you can have real contact with.
A third type, which is a bonus, is someone who looks up to you with deep admiration. You never want to let this person down, which makes you do your best even when you don’t feel like doing it for yourself necessarily.
On the other hand, NEGATIVE people should NEVER be allowed to influence your decisions. Nothing good can come from such counsel.

Hit your fears head-on.
Each action step gives you more confidence to try the another.

Afraid to offer?
Make a lowball offer for practice. Try just one to get your feet wet. Make it so low that you are quite sure it will be rejected (and if it‘s not you can be ecstatic, but also safe with your contingencies). Do it through an agent so you can be shown how to fill out the purchase agreement, and so you can remain anonymous to the seller. This is like doing a “practice offer” in class, but is also the real thing.

Afraid to speak to an agent?
Ask another investor how they work with their agent, how they found them. If you don’t have an agent yet, choose a number of different properties that you come across and look at each one with it’s listing agent. Talk with them while you go through and get to know each one to see if you “click”. You will get a feel for their personality, agressiveness, knowledge, especially when you have several to compare to. Then discuss with the ones you feel most comfortable with the fact that you want to invest and see if they are familiar with/open to working with you. Using this process will get you familiar with the different personality types realtors have and find you the best match. Besides, you may very well be working indirectly with these agents as submitters of your offers through the agent you end up choosing as your own.

Afraid you made a mistake?
Jot down what you did wrong and try to avoid it the next time. But, guess what, IT WILL NOT BE THE LAST. Lol. Nor are you the only one who’s made that mistake. And there have been many other that have messed it up WAY worse than you did. And they lived to succeed. So will you.

Afraid of the financing part?
You don’t know if you do or do not qualify for something unless you ask. Don’t ASSUME you will not qualify. Go through the paperwork to apply for a loan. If nothing else it will help you see where you are at financially and give you something to work towards. It will also help you understand the process that your buyers will be going through.

Feel like you are all alone in this?
Join an REI Club and become a member of deangraziosi.com. Even if all you do is read the threads or follow certain conversations, you will find yourself growing without even knowing it. The support of so many others, all at different levels of experience and motivation is contagious and uplifting beyond words! And it’s there 24 hours a day!! Buddy up with a couple other REIs. Hold each other accountable. I have had several DG fiends now for a year, and deals have been made (together and on our own) as a direct result of us pushing each other and keeping each other on track!

Afraid to speak to people?
We all have our personalities, some of us are extroverts, some of us are introverts, and some in between. REI can work for EVERYONE. You can choose to talk to homeowners directly (and I would encourage EVERYONE to try that, just to MAKE yourself do it and face that fear at least a couple of times) OR you can let your agent do all the talking. I myself am too much of a softy and NEED a harder agent to make the low offers for me and deal with the rejections and maybe bad attitudes of other agents or insulted sellers. It cushions me from all that. I know there is nothing wrong with making low offers. I am not hurting anyone by adding an offer to the table. The choice as to what they do with it. But I don’t like even FEELING like I’ve upset someone, so my agent is very important for me to stay on task. I know in the future I also need practice in dealing with homeowners in bad situations. I can sympathize already, but I need to learn how to negotiate as well to really help them out.

Afraid of how other people view your success?
It is important to keep in mind WHY you are doing REI and what your goals are. Decide today that this is what you are going to do for you and your family, and WHEN you succeed not only will those around you see the truth, you will be in a position to make a difference in the lives of those that need you. Just remember that a skeptic may go from trying to crush your dreams when you first start out, to being critical of your success when you do make it. This is because of their own insecurity and rather than face it for themselves, they will live their whole lives trying to bring others to their level. That is why it’s like poison to spend too much time trying to convince them otherwise. Yes, that includes a spouse (and they are the hardest to deal with)

Women, there are certain times when we are less sure of ourselves (you know what I’m talking about) and waves of doubt or fear creep over us and through us. It’s at those time that I FORCE myself to look at the overall picture and push that growing feeling back into a little ball, and literally tell myself that it’s nonsense!, and snap myself out of it (prayer helps, too). Talking with my DG sisters helps a lot too, but sometimes trying to think like a guy (and yes I believe they think differently) helps even more. Lol. They don’t seem to have a lot of the same issues as us, so I will “pretend” I am not afraid and make myself be brave.

ACTION!! It doesn’t really matter WHERE you start facing your fears. YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT! Thinking about it will NOT move you forward. Making no mistakes by NOT DOING ANYTHING might feel safe, but it WILL NOT get you ahead! It will NOT bring you to closer to your goals! As a matter of fact, the more you think about a fear, the more overwhelming it can become and the more power you give it. The only way to break it is hit it head-on. JUST DO IT!

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Every fear we face gives us a victory. Feels good and moves us forward.

Rina